Monday, October 28, 2013

as of lately...

I am currently sitting at work with nothing to do, so I have decided to update everyone about my lovely life and all my thoughts... on just about everything.

Well, first off, in the competition to register for classes, I am sad to say I have none to register for. I will be in COB 300 next semester, which is the big business plan class for the College of Business here at JMU. So I am assigned to my classes for that, but I wanted to finish my minor next semester as well since I only have one class left to take, but it turns out I won't know if I can register for it until I get my 300 schedule... which won't be until winter break. So, needless to say, I'm a little disappointed in that.

Friday I went home, briefly, to see a concert in Baltimore with my sister and her friends. We had a great time, even though we sat in DC traffic for nearly two hours! If you have not heard of Lydia, I suggest you look them up. They're great! Also, if you ever listened to Anberlin and stopped for some reason, you should get back into them.

Saturday I spent the day with my mom. We went shopping and then went to my favorite local restuarant for one last time before they do their big move into a bigger place! Then I briefly saw my dad as he supplied me with loads of candy I shouldn't be eating! It's alwas nice seeing family.
I also failed my driver's license test to get my license renewed! So there's that... after five years of having my license and I still can't manage to pass the test on the first try. So I will be going back to retake the test and hopefully have a non-expired license in my possession!

One last thing on my mind is how dramatic boys can be. I swear guys get more jealous and snotty about unnecessary things than most girls do. And this goes out to a lot of the boys I know. You do not own a girl and unless you are dating her, you have no dibs or control over her. Let's just get that straight. Also, boys, you need to stop being dicks to your friends. I am so confused as to when we started putting getting laid before having your friend's back or even just being a good friend. Like let's stop that because it's not attractive and it actually hurts people's feelings and you'll probably get what you deserve. Ugh.

Anyways, so my friend Kimberly is hopefully coming down on Thursday to spend Halloween with me so needless to say we will have an entirely too fun weekend together. I hope you all have great costume ideas, because let's be real, I have none. So if you have any ideas, please feel free to share!

xx,
K

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

alone but not lonely

I had a good day to say the least. Nothing extraordinary happened, it was just a good day. As I was driving home from work I felt completely happy. It's one of those rare occasions where everything just fades out and a great song is playing and you think "wow, I'm really happy". I mean I was thinking about something but it made me realize how content I am with my life in an honest-to-God good way.

I kept thinking how I know so many people who are afraid to be alone. People that are constantly in relationships and when one ends, another one starts. And it makes absolutely no sense to me and I know those people will never truly be happy. Relationships end for a reason, but in no way does that mean you should throw yourself into a new one. The problem may not always be the other person, but it may actually be you. You can't be satisfied or happy in a relationship because you aren't happy with where you are and who you are and how is that fair to yourself? I thought I couldn't be happy by myself at one point in my life, but after being alone for a couple years I've learned so much about myself and have grown as my own person. I'm not my best self, but I'm definitely getting there.

I may not have someone to say "I love you" to every night and good morning to every morning, but I have a life full of people who love me and care for me and that want the best for me. I am beyond satisfied with where I have come with my life. I wish a lot of the people I know who I can tell aren't happy with themselves would only figure this out. But a girl can only dream. And I've got big dreams to chase.

xx,
K

Saturday, October 5, 2013

it's kind of a funny thing...

...how everything sort of just falls into place at the perfect time. So many things have been going my way and I am embracing every moment of it because it's not every day that happens! I am so thankful for everything I have in my life and my entire support system within my family.

I had a two part test at the beginning of the week, but I think I did pretty well on it. After Tuesday, my week slowed down, which was exactly what I needed. I started getting all my baskets together for my perfect little, which made me even more excited for this upcoming week! I still have crafting to do, but hopefully it doesn't take too long to get finished. My parents came down today for the parent's football game. I love having them here at the school I love because I get to share everything I love about it with them. We went to check out townhomes for me to live in next year so I absolutely cannot wait to get out of this crappy apartment I am in right now. Also, I was talking to a sister who was working today at the clubhouse office and it just so happened she's looking for roommates as are Emma (my current roommate) and I! So I may be living with a sister next year and that in itself is exciting! I have met the sweetest people this year and I can only hope to continue to do so. Positive people are just what I need and are helping me shape myself into the person I've always wanted to be. It's exciting and rewarding!

As far as goodbyes go, it took everything in me not to start crying when my parents left. Something about them leaving my home away from home makes me extremely sad, which probably sounds pathetic but it is what it is. I love my parents to death and without my mom pushing me to my limits and supporting me with every decision I make every step of the way, I wouldn't be where I am today. I can only hope she knows how much she means to me and how much I am thankful to have such a wonderful mother who puts her life on hold to help me through mine. I hope you all have a strong relationship with your mother and/or father, because there is nothing better in the world than that.

I wish my sister could have come down today, but she is carrying out a life of her own and I am so proud of her for putting herself out there and becoming who she is. I cannot wait to go to a concert near the end of the month with her and her friends and become a part of her different world for a night.

And as for myself, I turn a whoppin' 20 years old on Thursday. I finally won't be a teen anymore but it hasn't quite hit me yet. All I can say is I hope the next 20 years are as rewarding and wonderful as the past 20 have been!

And now, I think I'm going to take a quick nap!

Xx

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

you exist, and therefore, you matter

You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you — it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise. 
— Daniell Koepke