Wednesday, July 31, 2013

the countdown

In twenty-two days, I will be back in Harrisonburg for the fall to start my junior year of college. Wow! Time flies, regardless if you're having fun or not. It goes by so quickly, I hope to start savoring every second of it.

I'm in a content place right now. There are things, of course, that I want to complain about, but I will refrain for the sake of boring you and angering myself. Many things are headed in a good direction. I got a raise at my retail job. Small, but a raise nonetheless. My review went well, so that's always a plus. A lot of amazing people have left and/or will be leaving soon, which is sad but I am happy for all of them as they move on and find new opportunities. I don't want to jinx anything, but let's just say, my fingers are crossed for potential opportunities I may have coming my way. We'll see!

I guess this was short and simple just so I can keep up with my blog and life, and so you all can as well.  Best of wishes to all of you in your life journeys!

Sunday, July 21, 2013

selfish versus selfless

I've encountered many situations recently where I have had to question the morals and values of my friends, and I am going to be 100% honest - I am not satisfied whatsoever. I was raised to be a caring person, to always put others before myself. I believe that it's also a choice I have made because I get more joy out of seeing others happy. This is not to say that I do not do things and make choices that make me happy, because I do.

There are times where I have been selfish and have acted on things that have only benefited me. I do not, however, do these things first handedly knowing it will hurt someone else's feelings. I am shocked at how many people are in my life that only put their happiness first and not their friends who are closest to them. If my friends aren't happy about a situation, how can I even be happy about it knowing I've hurt someone in the process? I literally cannot wrap my head around people who are so selfish... it sounds so naive, but I just don't get it. And it makes me look like a fool, I suppose, but it blows my mind. It breaks my heart to see such selfless people get screwed over by people who are only concerned with their own happiness. There comes a point where you stop being self centered and start realizing who and what truly matters.

Happy Sunday

I hope you have a wonderful and beautiful Sunday. And a great start to many brand new days ahead of you (:

Monday, July 15, 2013

you are not your past

So, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my past and my future. I just finished reading John Green's An Abundance of Katherines, which helped me come to terms with the future. The story line is about getting dumped and finishing the Theorem to determine who will be dumped and who will the dumper in future relationships. It was a good book, I highly suggest it... especially if you've been a dumpee. I have not so much been a dumpee, but more of a dumper. Whatever, that's besides the point. Now you all know I'm a heartbreaker... watch out ;)

Anyways, I realized you cannot predict your future and honestly, that couldn't be more relieving to know. I've always had this notion that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do with my life and what everyone else was going to do with theirs. I pushed a lot of people away due to this... because  I need concrete answers. But dealing with the future, you don't get that and that still freaks me out a little, but I'm more accepting of it now. It'll be an exciting adventure for me, and I'm going to take each day as it comes.

Also, I haven't been doing so well with seeing the positive in anything. But today marks the day where changes will be made. I am not ashamed to have to set reminders to take a breath and let all the negativity out.. because if that's what it takes to become a happier me, then that is exactly what I will do. It will take time and I will need help through this, but I know that I can do it and I am extremely proud of myself for realizing I can make changes to lead a happier and more fulfilled life. I wish you all the same.

"You are not your past,
 but only your future."

Friday, July 12, 2013

thoughtful friday

Today has been a long day, to say the least. I'm not sure even where to start, so I'm just going to ramble, I think.

At work, I encountered a jerk of a customer who thought I was new and told me to be quiet so my manager could explain that her return had to be put on a merchandise credit. Funny thing, this customer told me to be quiet because I was "probably a newcomer", but I have been working at Coach longer than the manager who was helping me with this ugly person. It really upset me, because I know what I'm doing. I deal with the same problems every day. I hope she never comes back...

There's a lot of people in my abnormally populated town that have a lot of growing up to do. I think a lot if other people realize their actions affect other people. Like do people understand they can hurt someone by doing what they may think to be a harmless act? It's not... what you do affects people. Simple as that. I wish people would think before doing. It's the simplest lesson we learn growing up, but no one actually does this. If anything, I think how my actions will affect others all the time and that's what sets me apart. I just get caught up in thinking everyone else is like this, but clearly they are not and that is something I am coming to terms with but I am not at all accepting of it.

That being said, I really am interested in going abroad and doing volunteer work. I don't know what kind of work I want to do yet. It's something I need to research to figure it all out. But I would love to travel and help others. Maybe between a break from school or a few weeks one summer. I'll let you know once I research further... :)

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

12:48 AM

"I want to be beautiful for myself. 
Not for anyone or anything but for myself."

Sunday, July 7, 2013

hard work pays off

My first official day of summer started Saturday because I finally ended all my summer classes! Congratulations to me! I finished spring semester at the beginning of May and a  week later was back at JMU for a business law class, which I got a B in, and an online class, in which I received an A. Right after those two classes finished, I started my third summer class, which I encountered too many problems with but my hard work paid off and I believe I will be getting an A in that class as well. College has definitely been on my side recently and I could not be more proud of my hard work and dedication.

Work has been going well. Today, in fact, I was ringing out a customer and asked for her email which was a collegeboard email. I asked her if she worked for the company and she said yes and so I told her I was interested in applying for an internship with them this summer but they, unfortunately, didn't offer that program this summer. I told her I was studying business management and human resource development and would definitely apply if they offered the internship program next summer. She handed me her card and I have never felt more proud. Even though it's no guarantee, it felt amazing!

Everything I've been working for is finally paying off and it feels amazing. I hope everyone can feel this way about their academics once in their life. Hard work pays off, don't ever doubt yourself.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

soulmates versus true love

I just finished watching a movie called Timer. It's about having a timer pierced on your wrist around the age of 14 and it counts down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds until you meet your soulmate. It's an interesting concept. Would you really want to know the exact moment you meet your soulmate? Scary...

I won't ruin it for any of you who may want to watch it, but it did get me thinking. I haven't come to terms with everyone having a soulmate. I think soulmates can exist in your best friend or your sister, whatever. I believe you can have a first love... and a second, third, and fourth. But I believe you only have one true love. There's a connection between you and the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. I don't believe opposites attracts. I believe you find love in the person who reflects your ideas, values, beliefs, etc...

I am still trying to find my one true love. I've had a first love and I believe I have had a second love. In comparison, the two were completely different, but I saw myself in both of them. One was fun and careless and always put a smile on my face. He had a heart bigger than anyone you'd ever meet. My second love was smart, determined, and encouraging. He made me want to be a better person, whereas my first made me feel like I already was the best. I know that sounds a little egotistical, but it makes complete sense to me. I'm trying to find a balance. I know what I want in my true love and I only hope some day I can find that. I hope everyone can find that. Don't give up on love. It's out there for everyone, just open up a bit.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Wherever I will go...

Well, July 4th is over, but boy what a day it was. I woke up early and sat in the living room with my sister while enjoying an almost perfect cup of coffee. My sister went off to work and I did a little shopping. I got an extremely cute top and a pair of shorts for a pretty inexpensive price. After, I came home to help my mom make deviled eggs - a first time for both of us. I made them for the Potluck we had at work today, and everyone loved them!

Speaking of work, I had a great time today. I was in high spirits and enjoyed working with everyone on such a beautiful day. The day easily came to an end when the mall died down as I'm sure everyone attended and hosted cookouts and watched fireworks. I, unfortunately, did not get to see any fireworks this year but that's ok!

There's a lot more on my mind than work, however. It's one of those days where you miss how things used to be. That happens a lot recently. I miss a lot of things and I haven't quite figured out why. I think I'm missing something that I never had, though, which makes it even more difficult. It is extremely frustrating and I wish I could pull myself out of it, but I can't seem to right now and you know what? I think, for now, that's ok. Everything takes time and whatever it is that's provoking this emptiness is going to take time. I know, for fact, I miss a lot of people that were a huge part of my life only a couple years ago. But, I have learned, that people grow and people change - all at different rates. I think I have grown a lot more than the people I am missing and I only hope that one day they can catch up. I have come to accept and understand that I am where I am right now because of the choices I have made and because, honestly, it is where I need to be at this point in my life.

"How do you know when it's over?" "Maybe when you feel more in love with the memories than with the person standing in front of you."

This is literally so perfect and relative to my life right now, so it's something I can find comfort in. I hope you can find comfort in little words with a deeper meaning. I hope your memories are just as beautiful as mine.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

blogging for positivity

So I didn't have a bad day at work at all. It was enjoyable, actually. I worked in the back most of the day, which is always a nice change every once in a while. I worked with some of my favorite people today that also made it a good day.

I am still getting the hang of this whole blog deal and trying to make my blog exactly how I want it. It's going to take a while, I'm sure. I am excited to get it going, though. It's going to be fun! I guess I should give y'all a little more information as to why I thought it would be a good idea for me to start a blog...

Since the beginning of this past spring semester, I took a psychology class that really changed my perspective on a lot of things. I know it sounds silly how one class can make you change parts of your lifestyle, but it happens. I had a great professor that was truly inspiring and motivating. I only hope everyone has a professor that does the same for them. Anyway, one thing I have been focusing on is positivity. I have been trying to find the silver lining in all things in my life and it has actually been helping! In many situations, I have been pushing myself to remain positive and take the time to react in a respectable manner. Instead of voicing my opinion right aways in conversations and arguments, I am learning to take time to reflect before saying anything I may regret. It has been extremely difficult but I know I am getting better and it is a guaranteed rewarding feeling. I am proud of myself and how far I have come in the past year and I can only hope I get better.

So, back to the point of all that! This blog is to help me keep up with my days and find positivity by writing it all down. This way I can see it all laid out in front of me to make sure I am finding the good things in life. I hope my words can inspire any followers that have trouble finding their silver linings. :)


Good morning. Well the play on words in the title is relevant for the sole reason that I am currently working with two solid hours of sleep. I have work today, so this will more than likely be miserable.

I am starting a blog for my own simple pleasures. I have always tried to do something of the sort to keep a record of my life (that's so cliche), but I have never followed through. So here's to hoping this works out better. I am actually excited! If good memory is in my favor, looking back on this blog months or years from now will be interesting, I'm sure, to say the least. I have a lot of good ideas that I want to work with while running this blog, but I'll have to share those later as I need to start getting ready for work... you know, to look beautiful for all my friendly, smelly customers! ;)